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9.01.2009

Not to trust anyone..a very hard discipline to follow

One thing TI's should be wary of even though we want new people in our lives are persons who seem to accept our stories without disbelief. True that in my experience alot of those connected to crime on both sides are immediately aware of covert activity of this kind.  But if the person is involved in crime then they should perhaps be suspected of trying to gain some favor or ease with what they are doing by handling a TI.

This is one of the hardest things do determine becuz you do not know if they are truly helping you becuz they are aware of covert activity or if they are getting something, quietly, out of it.

This in itself  can make one paranoid.  A targeted individual has been often so tortured and betrayed that  all decision making is often seen as delicate surgery with a scalpel..often our lives have had to depend on quickly assessing correctly and making correct decisions with little time and info. 

Something happens over time, as if permanent brain alteration or (like when a trauma victim is put on medication becuz his/her brain functions have been altered and thus a 'disorder' like depression has formed. This person would not have been born with a 'chemical imbalance'..one was created by an event and now there is an attempt to readjust back.  This is one of the great assets of gang stalking: arm chair psychiatrists out in the general public who now parrot terms like 'schizo', 'psycho', 'psychotic', 'chemical imbalance' and 'disorder'.
There is a trauma based and a disorder based psychiatry or judgment system. The only reason I know this is becuz my doctor discussed it with me as many had before, saying I was definitely traumatized. Also becuz she wanted to give me an out as she wrote a letter in the end that was basically big time betrayal[and does not match my records from prior sessions].  She gave the perps what they wanted  but knew I would be smart enough to figure it out...
The perps know this. The gang stalking system is set up to cause changes in a person that are permanent damage. Thus my comparison to zombie making in Haiti. Its all based on terror and chemical warfare, and lack of oxygen to the brain via premature burial--brain damage. Alteration of the human being via these methods.

THIS IS WHAT GANG STALKING DOES TO A HUMAN BEING.
then the rumors that are out there that you are nuts work perfectly becuz they make you nuts.
Remember that gang stalkers are completely heartless and dont seem to care they are killing someone..I have experienced them to be cult mind controlled or worse themselves..or just outright *ssholes.)

The problem with this time for TI's is alot of us have seen an end to the really stressful targeting during Bush's presedentcy.  But alot of us get upkeep on the terror in small doses..this is not a new peaceful environment. This is to try to finish us off..ever so quietly.  Its like all the soldiers that made it home from the Middle East who are killing themselves from PTSD as they experienced much of what we have-surprise guerrilla attacks constantly.

Do NOT turn your back on your past as now you are 'infected' with thet results of many years of gang stalking campaigns. Your spirit is probably sick with grief as well as your mind with memories.  It will run itself over and over until it runs you down-RIGHT INTO THE GROUND.

Be warned not to become relaxed or fall into hopes for a normal life. In this game its not guarenteed for us.
For some of us it will stop under some circumstances..with time or with relocating. For others it is ongoing until the perps get what they want: death or institutionalization or at least visible destruction of the person.

Its nice to have a normal life or want new friends but often they cant understand what we have been through, which makes them seem unsympathetic or just giving us more harassment.

I recently had someone who said they understood as they had witnessed an associate be harassed by the Feds..picture taking all of it.
But this person kept comparing my state of mind after torture to his associate who 'does not let it bother him' he claims.
What was I supposed to do? Start talking about the Navy's grant that is documented for psychic research in the past few years? All the corruption of the last administration? Military having Voice of God tech -also documented?  Mind control? etc etc?
Most simply would have been to use Gitmo or other torture situations, which he seemed not to get or understand. Now that makes me suspicious.
Now you have to start wondering if you want to be around someone that well meaning but stupid about reality.  ..and you also have to suspect they are playing stupid to get something they want.

No matter what you have been through as a TI if you are still able to function even somewhat normally you should have been handed a f*cking metal by now.  Especially tbmc survivors.  Its different for us..often we are caught while deprogramming or in some state of diversion where it would have been hard to just blow this all off.

This is not a normal situation concerning just crime as people know it.

Either the person doesnt understand or they are going for convenience and using you for something.

Either way eventually, they will not be able to help you or deal with how damaged you are.  Especially since when TI's start to heal some of the damage by loving someone or being in trusted company we go through changes that can be volatile considering now its 'OK'  and safe for memories to surface.

And in this situation you might get some patch up/band aid work done but the people around you might never be able to take you or walk with you through this further.

REMEMBER THE PERPS DO NOT WANT YOU TO REMEMBER OR HEAL OR GROW TO YOUR POTENTIAL.  YOU MUST STAY ENSLAVED.

Use what healing energy you can and know when to call it quits with people.\
Most people will not have developed the severe oversensitivity you have being triggered nor will they understand what you are going through.